Empty Orchestra
by Libertine Past
Summary: There comes a time when every marriage is tested, even the ones with the strongest roots. Cobra Kai. Daniel/Amanda. Daniel/Kumiko.
1. Kirin Ichiban

Hello! Cobra Kai is life for me right now, and this is my first CK fanfic. This story begins in Episode 5, Counterbalance.

Disclaimer: Do not own any characters.

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

 **Kirin Ichiban**

* * *

Present Day

 _Daniel_

I never expected to have a house with more than one bathroom in my lifetime, never mind the whole master en suite deal with a jet tub. And the apothecary jars with the bath bombs and creams and stuff, but that's all her. A lotta good luxury does when the door is closed and your wife isn't lettin' you in.

"Amanda?" I sigh into the door. "You don't have to hide when you dye your hair, the jig is up after eighteen years...don't know why you can't just go to a salon, anyhow. We can afford more than a, a six dollar box of Miss Clairol over here. "

"FYI?" she calls out. "No one under the age of eighty says _'Miss Clairol,_ ' and I'm taking a bath."

"You uh…you need any help?"

"Keep digging, Daniel, really. Keep it up."

"C'maan," I groan, resting my head against the door. "I apologized about the thing with Zarcharian."

"The _thing,_ right. Messing with the livelihood of the common folk is a _thing_ for you now, and mortified silence passes for an apology."

"Johnny Lawrence drew a di-"

"Say 'dick on my face' again, babe, really, please say it again. I miss you saying it, it's been like a half hour."

"Honey, please, let me in."

"Maybe I should. The way you've been acting over this Cobra Kai shit lately, you'll probably try to kick down the door. You think you could?"

"I don't know. I've never been attacked by a door."

Ah, she knows what I did there. I can _hear_ this woman's jaw crack when she even slightly smiles. "When I said I wanted the old you back, I didn't mean a Miyagi's greatest hits drinking game, Daniel."

I could kill someone in an hour from alcohol poisoning with that. "…look, I'm sorry. I'll be in bed, readin' some self-help books. Listenin' to our song."

"Nice try. This isn't something you can fix with Boston."

"Oh, everything can be fixed with Boston, but nah, nah, not that. I meant our _other_ song? Alexa, play 'Kryptonite?'" Three Doors Down starts jammin' out of the sound system in the ceiling. That gets her out of the bathroom, in her robe and towel-turban. "Remember?" I grin. "Huh?"

"This is one of our songs?"

"What. The men's room at The Smashed Grape? I thought women remembered that sort of detailed stuff."

"You…remember the song that was playing when we had drunk sex in a bathroom stall, but you can't retain the words 'clean the pool house' when I've said them four-hundred times?"

"Y'know what, you're right, I'm done diggin' here. I give up."

"Mm-hm. Whatever. Go wax off to Kryptonite, babe." She goes back in the en suite and shuts the door.

"I have. Lovingly. Many times! Alexa, stop," I grumble, and head for the pool house. You want the Daniel you married, I'll give ya' the Daniel you married. At least he had his dignity!

* * *

 _August 15, 2000_

Cousin Louie was getting hitched, at least for the moment. It didn't end up working out, 'cause she really had his balls to the grinder. I mean, this was his bachelor party, the _Italian Stallion's_ bachelor party…and we were on a little shuttle bus takin' us to different wineries in Napa. That was all Gretchen allowed. I mean, her name pretty much tells you everything you need to know. There's a reason nobody writes songs for Gretchens.

It was Lou, me, Hanoush, Freddie Fernandez, a bunch of guys. And Mr. Miyagi, of course. Louie made sure of it. _"_ You bring the O.G. or else. I'll be needin' some of that Hmong wisdom before the biggest mistake of my life."

"Japanesse, idiot," I sighed.

"Eh, same difference."

So, I was like thirty-three and never did make it to college. I was workin' my way up a dealership on the Miracle Mile. Still single as hell, but not for lack of trying. I dunno if it was the fact that I talked way too much, that I hustled PT Cruisers, or that I lived with an old guy in a room with tissue paper for walls.

"How many stops is this shitshow gonna make before we're even a little _buzzed?_ " Louie groaned from our seats at the back of the bus. "I need some goggles. Who let the _dogs_ out over here? Hel-lo!"

Hanoush goes, "I think you're missing the fact that Gretchen is trying to get you to be more _cultured?_ "

"Hey, I'm cultured. I grate my own pecorino from the block, for Christ's sake. Almost cut my goddamn finger off one time."

"Yeah, you'll be grating your own block, alright," Freddie chimed in with a jerk-off hand motion. "Welcome to the marriage club."

"Oh, Gahd, look at this bus, it's full of old farts! No offense, Mista M."

Mr. Miyagi's beard was whiter then, his hair thinner, his face half hidden behind the map of Napa Valley. "Miyagi start gray at twenty five. Offend self."

"So, look who's suddenly interested in the wine tour, huh?" I chuckled at Mr. Miyagi. "I thought you hated 'grape jelly water,' as you put it."

"Prefer rice wine, not ferment so sweet, _hai._ But, no. Planning ahead bathroom breaks. Very important, Daniel-san."

"Eh, Mista M, why don't I get a _-san_ after my name?" Louie asked.

"Signify respect," he sighed.

"Eh-heh, real funny. I wish I had some for myself right now, even."

"The hell is that, ending a sentence with 'even?' Who are you, Snagglepuss?" I laughed.

"Yea, I'd like to snag some puss. I'm still hopin' the bus driver takes her clothes off and this wine tour is all a freakin' joke," Louie said.

"Nope, it's not, my friend. Cold hard reality," Hanoush said."With an earthy undertone."

"Look at my cousin, man," Louie said. "Look at that shit-eatin' grin. He's gonna meet a girl on this trip, just you wait. He always does."

"And of course, their brief romance will be a valuable life lesson," Hanoush snorted. "A very special episode of 90210."

"Hey, 90210 just ended a solid, ten year run with a bangin' series finale, I might add," I said.

"Aaand, _that's_ why he's single," Freddie laughed.

"No wonder Candida split, huh? She came between 90210 Wednesdays for you and Mista Miyagi."

"Good American program," Mr. Miyagi said. "Teach many lesson."

"Wait, wait. We're stoppin'," Louie said. "We're pickin' up girls, real girls. The whole Mambo numba five lineup! The hottest one has a, a sash thingy that says 'bride!'"

"Oh, yeah, kinda like whats-her-face..." I said, snappin' my fingers. "Oh. Your fiancée?"

"Will you shut the fuck up?" he whispered. "Forget about it, they'll never sit over here, 'cause Danny had to wear a fuckin' Winger T-shirt under his button-down."

"I'm wearing it ironically, OK? How is nobody getting this?"

"Daniel-san. For once, no talk. Look."

I don't know how Mr. Miyagi knew. He said it without even looking up from the map. He hadn't even seen the ladies getting on the bus. Ah, who am I kidding? The guy was a sage. He just knew it was my moment.

She came up the steps first, and started down the aisle. In slo-mo, at least for me. H'oh my God. I heard the drum beats and those first guitar licks of that song "Smooth" in my head. Her hair had all these golden pieces then, and that bob cut everybody was wearing. She had on this silver dress on with a high neck, but short. She was like Miss New Millennium.

"If I'm dreaming, let me never awake," I found myself saying softly.

There were plenty of seats and she just happened to stop at the empty one next to mine. "Nice Winger shirt," she smiled. She sat next to me and folded her arms.

"Thankss," I sputtered. "...I-I'm wearing it ironically. I'm the cool guy with the not-cool shirt."

"Mhm. Keep telling yourself that. I bet you go on Napster and 'just download their hits,' too. Like you don't have the whole CD."

"Wow. You always this sassy?"

"Who under the age of eighty says 'sassy?'"

"An old-fashioned guy. I mean, not _old,_ old, just- an old soul. In a, uh, delightful sorta way," Shut up, Daniel, shut up.

She held out her hand. "Amanda."

"Danie- Dan. Dan the Man LaRusso," I sputtered, probably givin' her a Chozen handshake with my nerves. "That's what they call me."

"Who? The kindergarten class you teach?"

"Nah," Louie piped in from across the aisle. "He's a car salesman, that's why every other word outta his mouth is a freakin' lie."

"Daniel-san perennial student," Mr. Miyagi offered while I shot Louie a look.

"Ookaay, guy from the Sopranos and Dalai Lama dude," Amanda said. "Is this your posse, Daniel the Maniel?"

"Yep. My cousin's bachelor party. Last gasp for your friend too, I take it?" I asked, gesturin' over them. "I can tell by the uh, shoulder glitter. The sparkles make your self-tanner look really natural, by the way."

"Ooh, you are a _caution,_ Daniel. My grandma says that, you two would really hit it off. And believe me, this wasn't my idea of a party, but I'm not the maid of honor, so…"

"You like wine, at least?"

"It's alright. I'd prefer a dirty martini, ice, ice cold. Or a couple Kirin Ichibans. Or twelve."

Now imagine being me right then, feelin' this spunky chemistry with this cool girl with sparkly shoulders, who clearly can hang, and she says she likes JAPANESE beer. I couldn't contain myself. Can you imagine an "in" like that? The sheer freakin' joy on my face as my mouth opened, and in two breaths I told her everything there was to know about Okinawa and the bar where I broke six blocks of ice.

Yeah, she didn't believe it. I'm still not sure if she does. But she humored me, and by the end of the conversation, this peace washed over me that I'd never known before. Mr. Miyagi always said, _"Good woman for a man's soul bring calm. No agitation. No sweat or heart beating like chicken look up at ax. Only calm."_

Louie's voice somehow reached me in my paradise. _"_ That's it. I can't take this no more. Guys, we're bustin' outta here!"

"This is a _voluntary_ event, you know," Amanda said to Lou. "Not a paddy wagon."

"Not for him. His fiancée will kill him," I snickered.

"She never has to know. We'll bail in Oakville, there's gotta be a little dive bar somewhere, with beer and some fuckin' _food_ so I won't be full of gas? Mista Miyagi can get up and do karaoke, it'll be hysterical!"

"Oh God, don't say karaoke," Amanda laughed. "I'm sure Okinawa Man here knows the whole history of it, and how it translates to-"

"Empty orchestra," we both said at once.

I swallowed hard as we looked at each other. "Amanda, I…I know we just met like twenty minutes ago, and I hate asking you to ditch the bride to have a few Kirin Ichibans with m-"

"Her wedding's a sham and I hate her," she said quickly.

"Miyagi like Amanda-san," my teacher said.

And the rest is history. Well, OK, that's how the story ends for our kids, but in that sweet corner of my head I remember the rest. That bar in Napa- The Smashed Grape.

Laughing with Amanda 'til I aggravated every old injury I'd ever had. Mr. Miyagi ignoring the words on the karaoke screen and just singing "dah-dee-dah-dah."

One too many Kirin Ichibans.

There was no sour, stale aftertaste when we kissed in the men's room stall. How did she end up there, you ask, well, _she_ followed me in. I mean, I wasn't taking a shit or anything, I hadn't even unzipped. I didn't even have to go, I just needed a minute to process everything going on. To breathe. Well, so much for that. It was my mouth on Amanda's mouth, her tongue on my tongue, just this crazy makeout session from a dream.

"I don't know why, I just- I-can't let you out of my sight," she said. "Please don't go away. All the good ones go away."

"I know," I said, with no other explanation other than to hold on to her like a ledge, and kiss her and wrap those long legs around me 'til we almost fell in the toilet.

* * *

 _September 10, 2000_

"You're _engaged_ to a twenty-one year old _child?"_ my mother started screechin' over the phone. "Oh, _Madonne,_ no! Too young, Daniel! Does she even know who Carol Burnett is? I'll be dead by the time she wants kids."

"Ma-"

"Daniel, girls today would leave a car salesman the drop of a hat to get on the Reality TV and marry a millionaire."

"Oh, gimme a—I'm tellin' you, y-you'd better not scare this one away like you did Candida."

"Ucch, Candida. That isn't a name, it's a fungus! But the shoe definitely fit that little-"

"You know what, I'm just gonna let you keep goin', Ma, 'cause I know I'm not gonna get a word in edgewise when you're on your soapbox!"

"I stopped you from puttin' your bike in the trash, honey, of course I'm gonna stop you from puttin' your _life_ in there."

"You don't understand, I've never been so attracted to _anyone_ in all my life. On every level. Can ya' like, try to think back to when you knew Dad was the one or something, please?"

"Antonio's been dead for twenty-five years. Do you think I remember that? I can't remember to sign a check. Attraction is all fine and dandy, but I seriously doubt that a twenty-one year old girl will be able to accept that Mr. Miyagi comes first for you."

"Wha- you puttin' words in my mouth, now? When have I ever said that?"

"Well, call it the unspoken truth, then. And your girlfriends never get it. Someone who wasn't there from the beginning with Mr. Miyagi, and the Cobra Kings, and the whole ordeal is not gonna get it. That's why it's too bad that Koo-MEEKO-" she started, stressin' the end of the name like she always did.

"That was fifteen freakin' years ago, for the love of God!"

"Exactly my point. Could little Mandy even tie her shoes when you wanted to marry to that sweet Oriental peach?"

"Ma, what did we say about 'Oriental?' Huh? Rugs and food, not people?"

"What, I said peach!" she sighed.

"Look, just forget it, OK? I know Amanda will get my relationship with Mr. Miyagi, cause she gets _me."_

"Alright," she said after a beat. "You want my blessing, fine. I'll make my manicotti and she'd better eat it. Friday night dinner. And please don't wear that weird red smoking jacket with the bonsais. Save that for the wedding night, when it's too late for her."

* * *

 _Update next Thursday! Thanks for reading._


	2. The Silent Water

**Chapter 2: The Silent Water**

* * *

 _"And you may find yourself_

 _Behind the wheel of a large automobile_

 _And you may find yourself in a beautiful house_

 _With a beautiful wife_

 _And you may ask yourself, well_

 _How did I get here?"_

 ** _May 20, 2018_**

 ** _The day after the tournament_**

 _Daniel_

I'm just a blob on the couch. Emotionally exhausted, and deep in another round of the allergy attack I've been having since I moved out west. My head is full of tournament brackets, some blank, some with names, branching and branching out into infinity.

"Dad…are you seriously watching Paw Patrol?" I hear Anthony ask.

I feel both my kids come and sit on either side of me, a blur in my peripherals and a slump of cushions. "You used to force me to watch this show all the time. "S'cuse me for gettin' a little nostalgic for Adventure Bay, I'm just catchin' up. They added a few new puppies, and I was wonderin' if Mayor Goodway finally cares about her constituents more than her pet chicken."

"Nope, and there are still no child labor laws," Sam sighs. "Or PETA."

"Dad, I think you're depressed," Anthony says. "Can I turn the pool house into my gaming room if you check into the Betty Ford Clinic?"

"That's for drug rehab, you derp!" Sam says.

"Believe me, it's not far-off to call this a tournament hangover. This whole typhoon of stuff happened so quickly…I just need to wrap my head around it all, and try to figure out where we go from here."

Sam cringes. "You haven't told Mom about opening the dojo yet."

"She's gonna freak," Anthony snickers.

"Guys, c'mon. I haven't told her straight up yet, but…I-I told her I was takin' Robby to Mr. Miyagi's house- she might've inferred what that meant."

"'That presumption sounds like a ticket to sleeping on a mat, Dad," Sam sighs.

"Alright, I gotta tell her, I know."

She nods. "So, while you're coming up with a way to break the news, check this out." She goes in the hope chest and takes out a few thick albums. "Remember you told me to go through that overflowing bin of photos when you cleaned up the pool house? All in chronological order now. With a little scrapbook flair here and there, but not too much. Even Anthony helped."

"I put a bunch of pimp cup stickers on my preschool picture!"

"You guys…this is amazing. You coulda just saved this for a Father's Day present."

"Well, you need it _now_ to remind you that everything's gonna turn out fine." She's always had her mother's positive outlook, sometimes to a fault. "You and mom will work everything out with the dojo and the dealership. If you can handle these two children of the corn, you can do anything."

The three of us sit together, looking at the albums, laughing and talking in a way we haven't in a long time. Honeymoon pics, our first condo. The first dealership. Lots of Mr. Miyagi. Pictures of him holding our first born with "Sammy-chan" written in shaky handwriting.

"Do you remember him at all, Anthony?"

He was only a year old when Mr. Miyagi got sick, and three when he was lowered into the ground. "A little. Like how Charlie remembers Rain Man. Like this cool imaginary friend."

"He was the real deal," I sigh. "Oh my God, ultrasound pictures and everything over here. You guys look like little cannellini beans, and then aliens."

"There was one pic that wasn't fitting into my OCD chronology, though," Samantha says. "This ultrasound. It looks like it says '2005,' but maybe it's Anthony and the '8' got smudged or something?"

And there it is, the rusted nail that still can go through me in one slam. Anytime, without warning, and I've got no defense for it. No name for it. I once thought I knew what helplessness felt like all too well, but I didn't know the half of it. I thought I'd had the shit beaten out of me, but it didn't compare to this.

"Um," In one fell swoop, my hand slips under the thin plastic of the album and the ultrasound is out of there, in my shaky hand. "I-I'll ask mom later, I'm not sure. I'll leave this on my desk to ask her about, and we'll put it where it belongs." I get up from my sunken place on the couch and almost stumble.

"Daddy? Are you okay?" Sam asks, shootin' up. They still add a "Y" to Dad when they're worried. Makes my heart swell every time, but it's killin' me right now. I hear that and I almost break and confess everything. But Amanda has always said, _"Kids don't need to be burdened with shit like that."_

"I'm fine, sweetheart, I'm just a little overwhelmed by everything today. Tourney hangover, all these memories. Thank you guys, really, I love it, but we can look through the rest later."

"I'll DVR Paw Patrol," Anthony calls after me. I can tell by his voice he's not even raggin' on me, but serious.

A sick feeling overtakes me and I don't know what to do. I tell myself to stop crumplin' the sonagram pic in my clammy fist- it's the only physical proof that this baby ever existed.

Aaand there's Amanda in the master suite. "Ohhey," I stutter. "I- thought you were goin' to spin class."

"It got cancelled. Apparently the new teacher had a scheduling conflict with her yoga class. And guess who sublets to the yoga class- Cobra Kai. Isn't that grody?…Are you okay, babe?"

My face is a pretty open book around here, I guess. "Fine. Just havin' an off day with everything going on, but, I-"

"Alright, Shifty, what's in your hand?" she squints. Her smile slowly drops as the pic passes from my hand to hers. "…oh. Oh. Daniel, I…"

"It, uh…ended up in that mess of pictures in the pool house, I haven't seen it in ages. But Sam and Anthony, they went through them all. You should see what a great job they did with the albums."

She clears her throat. "…remember how I thought I was a weird, morbid person for wanting a printout of this? God, I've seen photoshoots on Facebook with full-term stillborns in frilly little frocks. This wasn't half as cringe-worthy."

"Amanda…we should tell the kids. They saw how weird I acted when I saw it. I think they're plenty old enough now."

"Hon, let's just not go there. There's just no need to revisit this. Why, for what reason?"

"Maybe we should. Maybe it would bring us all closer as a family. God knows we need a little help with Anthony in that department."

"I don't think it's a good idea," she says, and places the picture back in my hand. "You and I need private business, end of story. I don't do the whole…crazy Italian emotional outpouring with the whole family, Daniel, I just can't. That's why we agreed to keep it to ourselves. Remember?"

"Mr. Miyagi knew," I offer quietly.

"I didn't want him to know," she says, turning away with folded arms. "Do you think I wanted anyone but you to know I was a walking hearse?"

"Of course I told him- he went through it himself. He said the best thing I heard from anyone. He didn't say _'Oh, at least you have Samantha,"_ or _"you can have another baby,' or 'it's God's will'_ , and all that crap everyone else did. He took my hand and he said, 'There is no word for a parent who loses a child. That's how awful the loss is.'"

"He stole that quote from Ronald Reagan, actually," she snickers.

"Why do you have to have to make light of everything, huh? Laughin' on the outside, a lot of good that does _._ "

"...It's just what I do, okay? Alright? Because if I talk about it seriously, I have to remember that _you weren't there_ at the ultrasound, Daniel!"

There it is, that rusty nail in me, in one swing of the hammer.

"You weren't sitting in that dark room covered in cold goop when the tech turned the screen away from you," she goes on. "You weren't listening to fucking 'Hollaback Girl' coming out of the ceiling when they told you the baby had no heartbeat. I hate that fucking song so much," she says, storming out of our bedroom.

"Amanda, please, don't. Wait!"

And the same way he came into the world- unexpectedly- there's our rainbow baby smack dab in front of us. "I heard you guys fighting," Anthony says. "Did Dad tell you about opening the dojo, Mom? Are you totally agro?"

What the actual fuck.

"Anthonyyy, go to your room!" I bark.

Amanda closes her eyes, trying to breathe and seethe at the same time. "Daniel. Can we talk. _Outside._ "

* * *

 _A/N: Song lyrics and title are from "Once in a Lifetime" by David Byrne et al._ _Also, Johnny_ _ **will**_ _be in this later for anyone wondering. :)_


	3. The Karate Widow

Author's note: Sorry it took this chapter a few more weeks to crank out! I'm going to try to get my Miyagi-Do flow back with timely posting. Enjoy! :)

* * *

 ** _September 25, 2005_**

 ** _Daniel_**

Don't wake me up or _ever_ let September end, was more like it. It was our annual training and fishing trip in Salinas, Mr. Miyagi and me. Didn't miss it for the world. Balancing on a skiff was still my favorite drill, and since I had a little more weight on me at thirty-seven, he couldn't shake me off. My kata came together without a hitch. I had magic palms, as bad as that sounds.

"Daniel-san, too much kata, not enough fish. Now time for fish."

"Yeah, alright," I said, jumping down from my horse stance on the sides of the boat. "You're already thinkin' about lunch, huh? Must be because my Tensho up there was smoother than Jif."

"It good."

"That's it? Just good?"

"Give you too big head, sink boat."

Some things never changed. So, I cast my line and we sat together in the sound of the wind and the birds, the trees. Autumn out there was nothing like back east, but it was still something.

"If only Daniel-san as mindful about use bait," Mr. Miyagi snickered.

"Ah, shit. That would help," I chuckled.

"Everything is alright?"

"Yeah, I'm just thinkin' about Amanda."

"Ah-ha. How is baby?"

"Eleven weeks. We're just about to drop the news to everyone. She's actually havin' a picture of it done today, a sonogram. But, you know…you and I had our trip, so…I mean, it is what it is-"

"Dut-dut-dut-dut, reel in," he said. "We go home. You go appointment with Amanda-san."

"Hey, trust me, it's fine. We did all that stuff together with Samantha. Everything gets more relaxed with the second kid, you know how it is."

"Miyagi not know how it is with first."

"Oh God," I winced, "I didn't-I-I'm sorry-"

"Wife come first. Sammy-chan and New Baby, first."

"Mr. Miyagi…they're gonna be around for a long time. I couldn't miss this. Remember when you said your heart was empty without me? I never forgot that."

"That when you turn away from teaching. You never turn away from teaching when choose family."

"You're my family, too. Besides, we're never gonna make it back in time. She'll call me later and let me know all the deets."

He sighed. "What Miyagi give to see x-ray of son."

In the time that passed after that, we were both silent. Not even sure how long it was. I saw elk in the woods crossing a rock face, the smallest one skittering way ahead until it disappeared.

The Blackberry in my pocket rang. "Hey. See?" I told Mr. Miyagi, showing him Amanda's name on the screen. "Told ya'. She probably just got out of the doctor's." I answered it. "Hey, babe, how's it going? This kid got the LaRusso nose already?"

I'll never forget that sound. "Daniel…" My name was buried in a sob. I shot up to my feet. Her hysterical words barely made sense, but they stabbed through me until I heard the same sound coming out of _me._ I even remember saying _"_ Are you sure?" like a blubbering fool _._ When we hung up, I didn't know if I was gonna strike my foot through the bottom of the boat or dive off and flail for the shore. My indecision sent me tripping over the side, the Blackberry sinking into the lake.

I surfaced, even though I didn't want to. I clung to the side of the boat, still pouring out that sob I didn't know existed in me. Mr. Miyagi didn't even have to ask, because he knew that sound all too well. He pulled me back into the skiff and held me like a kid, and let me cry until I didn't have the strength to cry anymore.

* * *

 ** _May 20, 2018_**

I know that being there wouldn't have changed the outcome, wouldn't have given that baby a heartbeat. But the superstitious Catholic in me has always believed otherwise.

I know Amanda doesn't think that, but she still had to leave that dark room alone, and walk past all the happy pregnant women in the waiting room, alone.

I was with her when our shitty insurance made us go to Planned Parenthood for the D & C procedure. We had to walk past picketers yelling at us, calling us murderers. For a wanted baby, more wanted than they could ever know. It took everything I had not to kick any of them.

I see the same tenseness in Amanda's whole body as she goes out to the patio. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to call her Amanda-Lee, her full name that she hates. "My Hesperia hyphen," she calls it- one of those dead giveaways of where you came from, even though it's never bothered her that I wear Newark on my sleeve.

She carries all that tension in her shoulders, which I try to lay some Reiki hands on now and then, but I just don't know how to heal her.

I turn to Sam and slip her a few bills. "Take your brother to Golf n' Stuff."

"No, Dad, please, not there. Don't ask. Because reasons."

"Because reasons? You might not text in complete sentences, but you could at least talk in them."

"Dad...I put two and two together about everything. I was so stupid to put that picture in the album. I'm so sorry Mom lost a baby when I was little."

I see that three-year old girl in front of me right now, and the look in her eyes when I'd say we couldn't play Little Dragon.

"Hey, hey, it's alright. It's just something that's really hard to talk about. There were no hashtags for this stuff back then. And now that the crap hit the fan about the dojo…" I sigh, tossing my eyes the direction her brother went. "Take him to any place with real living, breathing people, please. Mom and I need to talk."

"Okay," she says, kissing my cheek. When she starts to head to his room, she turns around. "Tell her I want to be your junior instructor at Miyagi-Do. You won't be running it alone. Maybe that will help her come around."

She smiles at the flash of absolute pride on my face. "I appreciate that, kiddo, but we can afford to hire staff."

"Mhm. And you'll trust some non-LaRusso, Craigslist Sensei to do things your way?"

"… _Caspita,_ you people think you got me all figured out," I say with my Italian hand goin'. "Fine, you're hired. Now your mom has the ammo that she'll never see _either_ of us."

She sighs. "Good luck…oh, and I still can't believe you actually sent Anthony to his room. You were, like, Cobra Dad."

"Don't even."

I go out to the patio and Amanda is sitting in the water on the pool steps, still in her tank and bicycle pants. I can't blame her. It's hot out and it's basically a bathing suit. Those round blue eyes are staring off into space.

"The…kids went out…" I start. (Silence) "That just cost me more than my first car." (Side-eye) "I mean, not the current Kelley Blue Book, but.."

Well, I guess nothing could be a worse lead-in than that.

"…For what it's worth...I always hated that Hollaback song too," I offer quietly. "And what was with Gwen Stefani havin' Japanese girls follow her around like accessories?"

"Yeah. She totally stole your thing."

"C'mon, really?" I sigh. "Look, I gotta believe that picture ended up in our hands today for a reason."

"Why not, everybody said the miscarriage happened because of one."

"No, no, I didn't mean that like a shitty platitude, alright, I just…" I go down the pool steps and sit half-submerged with her, taking her hand. "I can't just drop it. It's still as raw as anything."

"I know…but please don't act like we never dealt with it. We did it the only way we knew how. We turned all that pain into a fire for getting our own business _,_ worked our asses off, and gave the kids the life we didn't have."

"I know. But maybe all this…" I gesture at the house. "It's always kinda seemed like someone else's life. I'm in an Audi and it still feels like a hot station wagon, 'cause I…I think of that day, and not bein' there for you, and I can't even breathe."

"…babe…no. It's easy for me throw that in your face, ok?" she sniffs. "You were there for the _other_ appointment. I never felt so safe before, even when that angry mob came after us. And let's face it, you could've drum-techniqued them, gotten arrested, and I could've gone to my not-an-abortion all alone."

How does this woman make me crack a smile when we're talking about stuff like this? "…Manda…"

"And maybe I should've been more upset that my _mother_ didn't come to things like my ultrasounds, because she was too busy raiding people's drawers for Percocet."

"I should've been there," I say, pulling her against me.

"Daniel, I knew from the start that you and Mr. Miyagi were a package deal. He was with us on our first date, for God's sake."

"That he was."

"And you know what?" she says, facing me with that proud tilt of her chin. "He never would've wanted his name to be used in a manchild dojo war."

"That's not what _our_ dojo is gonna be about."

"Really? Because I can see things escalating to 'I have a Ninja Warrior course and you don't.'"

"No Ninja warrior course, no one-upmanship-"

"No sauna?"

"Well…that _would_ be beneficial for strai—wait, wait, I' see what you're doin' here, and I'm not fallin' for it."

" _Knew_ you'd go for that."

"Hon...I'm doin' this for all the lost kids in the Valley who could get lured into Cobra Kai, 'cause I was almost one of them."

"It's not your responsibility to save them. What are you, the crazy cat lady who thinks she's gonna rescue them all? I supported you a hundred percent for training Robby. I saw the difference it made in you overnight...but a whole studio? Do you know the first thing about teaching a whole class of wild Gen-Z'ers?"

"Well, don't you think it's about time I took a step back from the dealership?"

"I've seen enough episodes of Bar Rescue to know how that goes. Besides, you don't even like the way people staple things. You put coasters under things in the breakroom _fridge_. You're going to just let go of the wheel, just like that?"

"I'll do it. Because I trust my Ride or Die, and it's your company too. It's about time you became the new face. The new branding."

"Really…?"

"Does a Larusso chew with his mouth open? You know it.I'm takin' a leap. Just like you did when you got off that bus with me."

Her eyes are big and soft at that. _"…_ And when I get home too tired for the horizontal kata, and you're jumping around like a rabbit? How's that gonna work out for you?"

"Inspiration." I jump up to the deck and drop down to my hands, kicking my feet skyward. I wish I'd gone to a few more spin classes, because I feel the aftermath of this in my core already. "Today's my Two-Legged Kick day, I can feel it."

"Daniel!" she barks through gritted teeth, like when Anthony's drinking liquid butter. "No, no no, you're gonna pull your groin and I'll be stuck holding frozen peas on there, and getting a…weird craving for pasta piselli. "

"I'm sorry, is that supposed to be discouraging?" I grunt as I take my left hand off the deck, finger by finger. If I don't keep my legs at a perfect counterbalance, I'll be eating travertine.

"Oh, _Madonne,_ " she cringes through her hand. "Babe?"

A _kiai_ thunders out with no sound but raw exhalation, and I hit the water with both feet. I break the surface with a look of total disbelief, shaking with laughter, as she splashes over to me, throwing her arms around my neck.

"Oh my God?" she shivers. "You did it!"

"Guess who's smilin' down, huh? Too bad I just pissed in the pool, though. Nah, I'm kiddin, I'm kiddin'!'"

"I can't believe you did it, babe," she laughs, and it spills over into a crazy-insane kiss, panting and soaked. This is how it is. Karate is the triumph and the widow maker, the best and the bane around here all at once. The life source that makes a hell of a mess.

"I've never done it just for you before, that's why I did it. Not for my pride. Just for you."

I cup her face and remind myself of the very first kiss. Not the one in the bathroom stall- that wasn't the first. It was when we were on the bar's dance floor, leaning heavily on each other. I don't think we were even drunk enough to be slow dancing to karaoke- that was just _us_. Mr. Miyagi was up there singing his own happy song, while the instrumental and lyrics for Cyndi Lauper rolled on faster than his English. I don't know how you can see fire in someone's blue eyes, but I did. Maybe it was just the reflection of the neon Coors sign, I dunno. Our heads titled so slowly into that kiss, like kids, because we must've known there'd be no turning back.

"Alexa, play 'Time After Time?'" Amanda calls out.

"There's one outside now?"

"Well, as much as I love lugging around your giant CD binder, it's a little easier to set the mood this way."

"So, you don't remember 'Kryptonite,' but you know the significance of some 'Dah-dee-dah-dah' song?"

"Oh, it's pretty significant alright. It's when I discovered the only way to shut Daniel LaRusso up," she says as our lips and the music blot out the world.

* * *

I wake up on our bed later, no idea what time it is in the afternoon. If the kids had any idea what's been going on, they'd never come back.

Amanda's probably in the kitchen eatin' hummus straight out of the tub- that's her version of a cigarette afterwards.

I pick up my phone and text her: " **Love you. When your face is on our billboards, I'll put my {eggplant emoji} on it**."

Her phone lights up and hums next to me on the nightstand. "Huh. So good, you forgot an appendage." I snicker, picking it up to bring it to her. Musta been my strip tease behind the Shoji screen.

There's another text, from some random number.

 **Ill keep watch  
** **no one should see this#  
** **gotta motor**

And I can't help but think of who would text in haiku form with an accidental pound key. Like he had to thumb through the numbers on a flip phone to get letters.

Talking like a Valley boy on a dirt bike...

No. No, you're being ridiculous here. This is a wrong number.

All you have to do is ask her. The same intimacy that just set fire to the pool can be applied to this. Transparency! Words!

I call the number.

"...Thank you for calling Cobra Kai, I'm too busy kicking ass to answer right now. Classes are currently booked solid, but sign up for the waiting list today on W,W,W, period, cobrakai, period, c,o, m. Otherwise, speak now and have a bitchin' day."

After the voicemail beep, the artery in my temple is like hundreds of high schoolers stomping on bleachers.

* * *

A/N: Paraphrased lyrics at the beginning are from "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day

Please let me know what you think! :)


	4. Raisins on Halloween

Author's note: Hello! I guess I turned my clock back to a time when I was better at posting. I'm so sorry I haven't updated since June. I promise that this story has much more in store. Thank you for reading and following, and I love to hear from you guys. Your comments are so helpful and inspiring!

* * *

 _ **May 20, 2018**_

 _ **Daniel**_

My thumb turns white on the 'end' button. Never quite as satisfying as slamming a handset down, am I right? All I can do is let out a quivering laugh in disbelief.

This guy.

He disappears for decades and then keeps popping up like a Whac-a-Mole.

I try to find blank space, a meditation anchor, anything to stop myself from going down this path.

 _Keep watch? No one should see this?_

 _Dut-dut-dut,_ the old man in my head hesitates. Didn't you learn anything from "there's something BIG I want to give you" on Sam's computer?

Wait. Amanda's been quietly fuming about my broken All-Valley trophy, the gold karate guy's supporting leg oozing dried glue . She wouldn't lay into Johnny about it in front of me, though. Maybe she called him up and told him off for breaking it, to which he said " _He_ broke it," to which she said "Because you threw him into it, asshole!"

She reamed him out for his students' shitty behavior, which he's going to… _keep watch_ for, because _no one should see…_ someone's arm get wrenched out of its socket. Got it. Done.

Right, LaRusso…as if.

Even worse, there's this kid in a periwinkle tuxedo in me, rearranged and bitten, somewhere in the clammy/blah range on the arcade Love Tester. I look in the dresser mirror and that ruffled kid is staring back at me. _"You know what else she does?"_

No. No, I'm not doin' this. You gonna drown your sorrows with a chocolate milk, too? Come back to 2018, dorkus. There's wi-fi and rationality here.

Yeah. Rationality…

I close my eyes and Amanda does a split across the hood of Johnny's orange Challenger, in a short white dress. The Whitesnake video of my nightmares.

Here I go again, on my own.

Oh God. You're crazy, man. Name _one_ reason she'd ever do that to you, ever. We just fell back into the darkest part of our marriage and came up stronger.

There's an old Polaroid of me on her nightstand- yeah, it's framed as a joke, but with love. I'm smiling ear-to-ear at Toe Stops roller rink, wearing the most rad crop top that East Orange had ever seen. The truth was, I'd outgrown my clothes and Ma couldn't buy more. This is Amanda's Daniel, "who takes life's lemons and makes crop tops," she says.

And yes, she had a lot of…alpha-male, pretty-boy, douchebag type boyfriends before I came along, but…

I try not to think of Terry Silver very often, but that hyena laugh is hard to forget. _"You can just stand there and let him kick your ass!"_

Still clutching Amanda's phone, I go out the mission door in our bedroom, and duck into the sycamore trees.

I call Cobra Kai again. Pick up, pick up you son of a bitch.

"Thank you for calling Cob-"

"Listen _asshole,_ I'll keep this nice an' brief, since you probably got thirty minutes a year."

"Ooh, get a load of Rebel Yell LaRusso, crank calling people for the first time _ever._ You gonna call Kentucky Fried Chicken after this and ask if they got big breasts?"

"No, but I'll call the Kabob place and ask if they found your nose on a skewer, after I wail it through the back of your head."

"Yeah, that sure sounds like self-defense. Your Sensei would be proud."

I bite the inside of my mouth the way I do every time I have a sobering thought about Mr. Miyagi. It's probably the tenth time today alone. "Then call it family-defense."

"What's your damage, man?"

"I can't make heads or tails out of this textual diarrhea you sent Amanda, but don't do it again, you got it?"

"Jesus, you check her phone? Big surprise. I'd be all insecure too, if I was a wastoid married to a babe with dimensions like that."

"Keep digging, Ex-Lax, go ahead. How did you even get her number? Cell phones aren't in the White Pages."

"Uh, doi- your wife called me first. She just had some girly questions about the yoga outfit that rents my place."

"Really."

"Yeah, standard-issue stuff. Is it gluten free, do they turn up the heat to a hundred and ten, do I watch, do I jack off in plain view. When I said no, she said 'Dealbreaker' and hung up," he snickers.

"Johnny, I swear to God-" I think my days without needing blood pressure meds are numbered. "You know what? I'm not doin' this. I'm not stupid enough to fall for your crap. You're tryin' to undermine my dojo before it's even off the ground. Gettin' into my head, my personal life…I won't let you."

"Look, LaRusso. I'm a man of simple tastes. If I wanted to undermine your damn dojo, I'd just put a bumper sticker on my car of Calvin pissing on a bonsai tree. I'll leave the straight-up psychological warfare to you and your mafia buddies, but congrats on your one and a half students."

"One and a half?"

"Yeah. Robby and what, a circus midget who needs to brush up on taking falls? It'll just be the midget, soon enough. My kid will defect to Cobra Kai when he gets sick of twirling around in search of inner peace. Your karate's like a box of raisins on Halloween, man. Mark my words, Robby will bail."

"He wouldn't join you if you had a live death metal band and naked water girls."

"Welp, if there's a permit for that, I'll be able to afford it now. Cobra Kai is GOAT, which stands for Greatest of All Time. Shit, man, it's better than GOAT, 'cause cobras eat goats."

"Wow! You're crushing the latest lingo, Johnny, you're really listening to those kids where it counts."

"Whatever. Keep crawling in the snake tracks, man. Trying to be like me, copying everything I do. It'll get your wife off, at least. Give Amanda-Lee my best, craneshit."

I know that cell phones don't clunk when someone hangs up, but there's a clunk in my head.

Amanda's hyphen.

Nobody knows about her hyphen. It hasn't been on a public record in twenty years. She had it legally changed the minute she moved out of the high desert.

It's a detail she keeps close to her heart, mostly because of all the pain that goes with it.

Why would she tell _him?_

I go back into the house through the master suite door. I put her phone back on the nightstand just as it was.

In my head, a live video of Johnny pops up on the screen at an unflattering angle. _"Hey, LaRusso, I got a new Facephone. Now I can send dick pics to your wife!"_

Amanda returns from the kitchen, my back to her, and my breath dries up in my chest in a way that would make Mr. Miyagi shake his head. "Well, that was an everything-hummus kind of afterglow, hon," she says, wrapping her arms around me from behind. I close my eyes, involuntarily leaning back into her embrace.

Johnny's messing with your head. Go ahead. Screw up your whole life over this. That would be just like you.

Her lips are searching my pulse along my neck, and I let out a low groan.

I try to focus on nothing but this, but my veins are bursting with _Everyone leaves you. Some way, somehow, they go. She can be this close and partly gone._

She turns me around to kiss my mouth, but freezes when she sees my face. I couldn't come up with a poker face if my life depended on it. "Babe…? Why are you looking at me like a bonsai in a tide pool…?"

"…I-I don't know…"

"Of course you know."

I do, but I just start rambling. "Wh-what if we'll never be over the miscarriage? What if things have never been the same since then and never will be? What if Miyagi-Do is a joke, it's a pipe dream and no one will stick around long enough for the punchline about the chores-"

"Babe, whoa, whoa, please. Look at me," she says, one hand on my chest "We're fine. You convinced me about the dojo. I'm still a little stuck on the time factor, but I _know_ that kick by the pool was born out of pure passion. It's enough. You're enough."

 _What are you hiding?_ The words are in my head, but they won't come out of my mouth. It's not usually hard to keep anything from spewing out of this trap of mine. I look into those bright blue eyes. I'm just gonna come right out and ask.

"…Do you like the gold and blue mats or the red and white?"

"C'mon, the red. _Your_ mats, babe, no contest." The doorbell cuts into the tightness in my chest. "Wow. Whoever that is has perfect timing. If they showed up an hour ago, they would've heard the part where we almost broke the Shoji screen," she smiles, kissing my cheek.

Yeah. Timing.

I open the front door to my cousin Louie, and get a flashback of him at age seven from the guilty look on his face. "So this is it, huh? This is how it is? You gonna throw away a lifetime of memories because of that asshole?" he says.

"Well, I'm older than you, so it hasn't been a lifetime for me. Seems like it, though. And then some."

"Can ya' get serious here?"

"Louie, you're still family. Still my cugine, alright? I just don't want you at the dealership anymore. That's all. I know this might be a weird concept for the uh, Mediterranean population, but family _can_ still be family without permeating every facet of your life and goin' in the bathroom with you, y'know?"

"You need me over there to run defense against Tom Cole."

"I can handle Cole."

"I heard his wife's tryin' to dig up dirt on Amanda. They wanna taint the Typhoon June Approve-a-Thon with some big scandal."

I swallow a half-breath. "Louie, I can't even with this right now, okay?"

"Don't be so gabbadoste, huh? This could get ugly. Let me handle the PR end of things."

"Your name and 'public relations' put together are like peanut butter and mayo, for Christ's sake."

"Danny…I gotta tell you something' else, but promise you won't get mad."

"…Louie…"

"The bikers...they're not happy with you."

"With _me?"_

"Yeah. They think you're ungrateful for what they did. They said there should be…you know…compensation, for the favor with Snakeface's car, and how roughed up they got. They said they have ways of gettin' what's owed to them. I said to not even joke about that, like, 'Danny knows all the pressure points and shit,' but they just laughed and called you Hong Kong Phooey."

"So now I'm in trouble with a bunch of guys I don't even know, for something I didn't ask for? You know what? _Get out._ "

"Cuz, you can't leave me hangin' on this!"

"I won't," I growl, leading him over the threshold. "Tell 'em that if they come near me or my family, I'll ram their fat heads through the front fork of their bikes. You got that?"

I slam the door behind him.

I fully expect Amanda to appear and ask _"What was that all about?"_ but she doesn't _._ Definitely not like her.

I creep to the bedroom door and glance over the frame. She's texting quickly. Shakes her head at the phone and smiles.

It's probably the kids. But Johnny and Amanda are in my head, and I can't get them out.

My breathing quickens and I back away from the door. I go back the the living room, the high ceilings closing in on me. Mr. Miyagi, it's times like these that I can't handle you being gone. Even though I know exactly what you'd say, and the simple, soulful way you would say it, I need it from you.

But, maybe my answer from him comes in a different way. The doorbell rings again, but I know it's not Louie. I feel Mr. Miyagi's calmness radiate through every plank, every nail.

But I open the door, and it's Robby.

"Hey, Mr. LaRusso."

And just like that, everything kinda settles for the moment. I've always wondered where his manners come from, but I've never asked.

He's wearing a button-down shirt and khakis, and my shoulders tense at the idea that this is for Sam.

"Robby. What're you all dressed up for?"

"I'm a little early. You asked me if I wanted to come to the thing you're sponsoring."

"Oh, shit-" I wince, kneading my forehead.

"I mean, if you still want me to. You asked me to go before stuff went down, but…I thought it would be back on after yesterday and…I've never been to the Hollywood Bowl. You said it would be a lesson about balance? Piano and forte, or something?"

I completely forgot about the Philharmonic show. I'd rather roll down a hill right now, with everything else going on, but there's no way I'm ditching Robby. "Of course. Please, come on in. Don't mind me, I screwed my schedule up. I don't usually do two sponsored events in one weekend, but it is what it is. I wouldn't miss it. There are gonna be dancers, too."

"You're all about the synchrony, Mr. LaRusso. Another lesson?"

"You know it. But, is your shoulder good for sitting all that time?"

He smirks. "I think sitting would be better than doing chores." He makes himself comfortable on the couch, like he's always been a fixture here.

"You'd be surprised…hey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"You ever feel like…what you're learnin' here is kinda…ehh."

"Ehh?" he shrugs.

"Like trick or treating and getting a box of raisins?"

"Yeah. Absolutely," he laughs.

"That's a good thing?"

"Well, I'm allergic to nuts, so my mom was too paranoid to take me trick-or-treating. But if everybody had given out boxes of raisins, that would've been pretty awesome."

This guy. He always surprises you. "That's…a perspective I hadn't thought about."

"I think the better question is, is this orchestra show gonna make me want to commit Snickerside?"

"Ey, come on. Hang on a sec." I see my laptop on the ottoman and open it up, skimming the info about the show. "…Seaside Dance Troupe…international…you into dance?"

"The cheerleaders at school, maybe. What about you, Mr. LaRusso, you into dance?"

Just like that, I remember my reflection in the window of a Panasonic store in Okinawa, the rush of right-side traffic and people, the smell of deep fried sata andagi pastries.

" _Oh, you want to be a dancer?"_

" _Very much," Kumiko said almost in a whisper, watching the ballerina's liquid movements on the color TV._

" _Well, that's a great thing to be."_

"...I was. Once," I say.

It hits me I haven't even told Robby about pulling off the two-legged kick yet. It's lost somewhere in everything after that, and now in a Okinawan reverie as lucid as anything. I don't know if I should drag the whole family to the Philharmonic under the threat of the bikers. I don't know how balancing on one hand turned into the most stable moment of the day.

* * *

TBC!


End file.
